Break Down
by yami1234
Summary: I couldn't take this anymore, I just wanted to let it all out. I fell to my knees, as something wet fell down my face. I suddenly felt her arms wrap around me. BXE.Fluff!
1. I want to remember

Please dont mind the spelling mistakes, I dont have word yet on my computer. Also this is NOT A ONE-SHOT...

Please enjoy

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EPOV

I sighed looking at the set of photos in front of me. They were so worn out that I wondered how much longer they would last. Looking over them again, I wished I could just cry away all the memories that I had both good and the bad. I suddenly felt movement next to me. I glanced over at Bella smiling. She was smirking in her sleep. I wonder what she was dreaming. "Edward give me back my trix. Your not the rabbit from the commerical..if you were you wouldn't be so shiny, but fuzzy." She mumbled rooling over. "No I'd rather have you shiny, than fuzzy Edward." she mumbled again. I laughed silently at her talking.

"What are you laughing at?" I heard her grumble into the pillow. I quickly grabbed the pictures that laid sprawed across my lap and put them in a pile on the nightstand. "Nothing, Bella, just listening to you talk again." I mused. She groaned again before rooling back over to look at me. I could see fear in her eyes. "What did I say?" I laughed again at her reaction as I pushed some hair away from her eyes.

"Nothing really, but I am curious love, do you prefer me shiny or fuzzy?" I questioned, making my eyes as innocent as possible. Her eyes went wide as a blush crept across her face. It was early morning, so I could easily see as her face turned different shades of red.

"Its early yet, why don't you try and go back to sleep." I replied, grabbing the small pile of pictures and holding them tightly to my chest with my hand..

She sat up a little, apparently not wanting to go back to sleep. "What are those?" she asked pointing to the pile in my hand. For a second my eyes went wide. Dang, I had forgot to put them away.

This was something that no one but myself ever saw. Sure the family knew I had it, but every time they asked to see, I would find some excuse to hide it from them.

I sighed. I hoped that an excuse would work."Just pictures." I said holding them tighter in my hand. I felt her gaze on me. "What kind of pictures?" she asked, not trying to hide the curousity in her voice. I knew it was a useless attempt to try and lie to her. I almost smiled at the thought. Bella, was more preseptive than that.

I turned on the light with my free hand and slowly let the pile down onto my lap. Bella was now sitting fully up next to me, looking carefully at the photos.

"Can I see them. I promise to be careful." she asked. I smiled a little and nodded as she gently took the picures from my lap. I pulled her up from her spot to take their place as she shifted through the photos, while my chin rested on her shoulder, gazing between her and them.

"Who is this?" She asked quietly, looking at a picture that contained a woman and a small child. Her hair was straight and she wore a long flowing skirt, while the little boy was dressed in a little tuexdo. His arms were wrapped around the woman's neck looking straight ahead, giving a goofy smile. While the woman smiled naturally.

"That's my mother, Elizabeth, and that's me. According to the writing on the back. I was seven when this was taken." I sighed to myself, because all I had was the pictures now. I could barely remember anything from when human, but I didn't tell that to Bella.

I heard her laugh a little. "Aw Edward you are so adorable." she said. looking at the picture again. "And your mother was so beautiful." she whispered. "She looks so much like you."

I wrapped my arms around her tighter and buried my head into her shoulder. I wish I could remember how she looked at other times. But as much as I tried I just couldn't. "I wish I could remember her." I mumbled outloud. It took me a second to realize I had said that outloud, but it was already to late. I felt Bella stiffen in my arms. She gently put the pictures back on the night stand before turning to face me.

"You don't remember your mother?' she asked. I shook my head. "I don't really remember anything from my human life." I whispered, my voice cracking a few time. I wish I could. The feeling of not knowing. Not even contemplating anything from my past, was a hole that lingered in my heart for the last hundred years.

I closed my eyes tightly. Suddenly I felt warm arms wrap around me. It was then I realized I was crying. Not with tears, but with silent tears that only fell inside of my heart.

BPOV

I hugged him tightly after everything he had told me. I couldn't imagine how hard it must have been for him to not be able to remember things like his family. I wondered if I would forget when I became one of his family.

I pushed the thoughts to the back of my mind as Edward hugged himself closer to me, dry sobs rippling through him.

"It's alright." I whispered rubbing his back. I mentally slapped myself. Of course it wasn't going to be alright, but he didn't seem to notice it.

"I can tell you something though." I continued, trying to figure out what to say. It wasn't everyday that the tides were turned in our relationship when I wasn't being the one conforted.

He took a deep breath, nodding into the crook of my neck. "I can tell you, that even though you might not remember her, I bet you resemble her in every which way. Who ever she was raised you to be a great, loving, and caring person. You don;t have to try to remember who or what she looked like, all you have to do is look in the mirror and they will all be right there." .I replied.

He was silent for a few moments, as I continued to rub his back soothingly. Finally he pulled away to look at me. His lips were on my then. Like every other time, my heart thudded against my chest, ready to burst at any second. After a few seconds he broke away to let me breath, but his hands found the side of my face.

"Your right...everything you said is right. I can't believe I didn't see it before." He said smiling. I smiled back nodding. "And I meant every single word." I whispered.

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Thanks for reading and stay tuned for chapter 2..if u have time please review! Thank You!!!


	2. fall and scream

Thank you so much all my readers, for the reviews...00 8 reviews for the first chapter..i swear i almost feel over and felt the need to add another chapter, while working on my other twillight story, never yet forever, which by the way, for all u readers of that as well. I will have the next chapter of that up by the end of the week, Promise, but until then. Onto chapter 2

And also i notice that ppl have added this to their story, so i only think it is fair that I add mine..ok..so as much as i wish i could be stephenie meyer and claim these awesome characters, it is sad to say i dont own them nor will i ever, but there is no law that says i cant dream that i do right?

lol ok enough with my chatter onto the rest of the chapter.

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BPOV 

I woke up to the early morning light that draped into my room silently. I groaned and rolled over trying to block out the sun's lights. I suddenly bolted upward, noticing Edward wasn't at my side. I looked around the room to see that he still wasn't there. Panic began to flood through my body, and like an anchor made me begin to descend into the hole of emptiness that I had felt not to long ago when he had left me once before.

My heart began to beat faster, as my breaths became gasps. I put my hand over my chest taking deep breaths. No. He promised he wouldn't leave me again. He said he would stay. Maybe something came up and he will be back later. Yes. He will be back later and then it will all be alright. I laughed a little as the pain in my chest dulled. I sighed when it was finally numbed and sat up.

As I was getting out of bed, I suddenly heard footsteps coming down the hallway. I gulped and laid back down covering my face with the blanket. If it was Charlie, it would look as though I were asleep. My mind wondered towards another theroy though, what if it wasn't Charlie, or any of the Cullens. I mean I did have an odd sense of attracting danger. What if..

"You are one bad actress you know that. I could hear your heart from all the way downstairs. I say that career is, like i said before, not a good choice for you." A familar voice said lightly. Immediatly I threw the blanket aside to see Edward smiling down at me.

"Edward!" I yelled, hoping that Charlie had already left. Judging by his reaction, my dad had already left. I clung to Edward, fighting back the tears in my eyes. His arms wrapped tightly around me. "Bella, honey, what's wrong?" he asked.

I shook my head taking another deep breath, breathing in his scent. It calmed me down a little. "It's nothing, I am just really happy to see you. I whispered, kissing his neck. . He sighed pulling away, not seeming to buy my little lie.

"Bella." He whispered, the pain in his eyes, like I had seen last night were coming back. "I told you before I." he began ,but i immediantly cut him off.

"Edward, I don't want to hear it because I already know what you are going to say, and I believe every word that you are going to say." I replied, watching intently as his eyes softened. He sighed before kissing me. When we finally broke apart, my gae shifted over to the pictures that lied on my nightstand. They were in a neat pile nearest to the bed.

I felt his gaze shift over to them as well. "What are you thinking?" he asked, hinting a sense of curiousity in his voice. I bit my bottom lip trying to think. There had to be some kind of records of his parents right? Maybe a picture or two or something, anything? I just wanted to be able to do something to help him because I never wanted to see him like he was last night ever again, if I could help it.

An idea suddenly came to mind. I forgot all about his question before jumpin out of bed and turning on my computer. As it warmed up creating all the noises of being brought to life again, I hoped back on the bed and snuggled into his arms. "I am thinking that I am going to help you out." I said, my voice filled with hope, that I wanted him to catch.

He remained silent, while my computer finally jolted to life. I got off his lap again and grabbed his hand pulling him with me. "Help me with what?" he asked finally. That must of been why he was silent. He couldn't figure out what I had meant. I laughed, at the idea of confusing him.

"Can I ask you a question? I asked, suddenly aware that this idea might not work. He sat on the seat near my desk and pulled me into his lap, wrapping his arms tightly around me. "You can ask me anything you know that." he replied, resting his chin on my shoulder, as I tried to figure out how to ask.

"Well, I was curious, that since you know your mother's name, do you know your father's name?" I whispered. He chuckled lightly before answering. "That I will always remember because it is my name. It wasn't uncommon during my day to name the son after the father. " he replied.

I nodded. "Do you know what he did for a living?"

He thought a moment. "I believe Charlisie told me he was a well known lawyer. My family was pretty wealthy. Why do you ask?"

I smiled typing into a search engine. "You will see." i said, praying at the same time that there would be something.

When I got to the search bar I typed in _Edward Mason: lawyer_

I pressed enter and waited till my computer found some sites. I scrolled down ignoring the ones that pertained to lawyers in general and ones with the name Edward or Mason. I sighed when I entered my fifth page and still found nothing. Edward haden't said a word the whole time. I was just about to give up when I typed in one last thing

_Chicago Lawyers during the Spanish Influenza_

I scrolled down the site lists again until one caught my eye. I clicked on it and it lead me to another screen with a picture of Chicago in the background. On the side it said

_history of the windy city_

_the Spanish Influenza of the Early 1900's_

_chicago lawyers_

_victims of the Influenza_

_plane tickets cheap to chicago_

_buy _

I ignored the rest of the list and clicked on the fourth option, figuring that the third would take me to the most recent to date known lawyers in the city.

The site popped up and a list of names, that were in ABC order flooded down the page and broke off into little segments.

I clicked on the M section and scrolled down hoping to find a name. My eyes went wide about half way down the page as I felt Edward's grip around me tighten. I had almost forgotten he was there. Some of the names were in blue, meaning I could click on it and it would take me somewhere else, while other names didn't

Luckly, this one did. It sent me to one final page that loaded with a picture at the top. It was of a man who looked much like Edward, weaing a tuxedo. He was sitting at a desk with papers on the right side, under the picture the caption read, Edward Mason 1914

Down below the picture was a summary with different subtitles, like family, career, life, and death

I clicked on the family and it took me to the section.

_Edward Mason was the husband of Elizabeth Mason and the father of Edward Anthony Mason. His only child was born on june 20th 1900, and just a year before, Edward and Elizabeth Mason had exchanged vows. _

_Upon the sucession of his career as a prominat lawyer in Chicago, the rage of the Spanish epidemic had cut his life early. His wife soon died after and both were buried together in the Stanford Cementary in Chicago. Their son, who was presumed dead, was never found and became one of the many victims lost during the epidemic..._

I stopped scrolling down and turned to look at Edward whose eyes were locked on the page. There was more information on the site, but I didn't know if it was best to contiune, so I turned off my screen, still keeping the computer on and turned back to Edward.

His gaze didn't move. I waited a second frozen, maybe this wasn't such a good idea. "Edward?" I whispered placing my hand gently onto his cheek. He still didn't budge. "Edward, answer me." I said, raising my voice a little.

He suddenly came back to life, jumping a little before his gaze met mine. I heard his quick intake of breath. "You alright?" I asked, placing my hand back onto his face. He nodded, and smiled a little. I couldn't tell if he was doing it for me, or if he really meant it.

"I'm fine, just...a little...overwealmed..but its alright." he replied, shaking his head slightly. I was confused suddenly as he rubbed his eyes like he was tired or something. I cocked my head to the side a little trying to understand his expression.

"What's wrong?" His hand lowered away from his face, and he shook his head again. "It's nothing, Bella, just a little...

He sighed smiling back down at me again. "So what do you want to do today?" His quick change in subject surprised me a little.

"Don't you want to look at the page some more. I mean it is about your father. Don't you want to find out all you can?"

He laughed a little. "I can look at it tonight while your asleep, that is if you don't mind giving me full access to your computer. I don't want to bore you right now, sitting and reading all day. Besides I am sure Alice is itching to take you shopping again. I can practically hear her begging me to bring you over now so that you both can go." He replied, amused by the sudden horror struck that came across my face.

His moved his lips to kiss my neck gently and slowly skimmed the middle of it till he found my lips. "But you know what? I think she can wait just a little longer because right now I want you all to myself." He whispered, kissing me before I had a chance to reply. Suddenly he stopped pulling back abruptly and holding the side of his head.

I couldn't hold back the scream that erupted from me as we both hit the floor, with a loud thud, my elbow hitting the side of the desk. I was sure it was going to bruise, but I ignored the pain and looked back at Edward who was holding his head tightly, his teeth clenched as he tried to sit back up. Every time he moved though, I noticed him shake a little before going back down.

I quickly moved next to him, grabbing him until he was sitting upward. "Edward! What's wrong!" I screamed, as he bent his head down and squeezed his eyes shut.

My hands grabbed his as I attempted to move it away from his head, but they wouldn't budge. It was as though they were glued on.

"Edward, please look at me." I begged, but he still didn't respond. After another minute or so, he still didn't move, his whole being captured in pain. Tears were running down my cheeks as I tried to talk to him, but nothing seemed to work. My thoughts were suddenly broken as he screamed.

My arms suddenly jerked around his waist as I pulled him into the tightest hug I could. I didn't know what else to do for him. I wanted to call Charlisie or Alice, or someone, but I was afraid of leaving him. I prayed hard, that it would go away soon. Please god, stop hurting him! I wanted to scream, but I couldn't find the voice to yell.

After a few more seconds I felt his body begin to relax. My arms tightened around him, as I heard his breaths come out in quick gasps. I let out a sigh of relief when I felt him stop shaking.

I gently rubbed his back, hoping more that it was over, and wouldn't come back. "B-Bella." he rasped a couple of minutes later, trying to pull away from me.

"Shh, take it easy." I whispered, pulling him back into me. He sighed, relaxing back to where he was. "Edward, what happened?"

I felt him shake his head, and then groan holding it slightly again. "I don't know. There was just sudden pain in my head and I just..I don't..." he rambled, "Then after that...I just..." he tried to go on. I heard a light buzzing sound coming from his side pocket, when he finally became silent again. I grabbed it out of his pocket before he had a chance to move and opened it.

"Hello." My voice was frantic because I knew it had to be one of the Cullens.

"Bella. What happened? I had a vision and is everything alright?" I choked back a sob as she spoke.

"No, Alice, something terrible happened and I don't know what to do?" I cried, as fresh tears feel down face. The next thing I knew Edward went limp in my arms. I screamed again, very sure that Alice and perhaps the rest of the Cullens that were there could hear me.

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Crappy ending I know but I was tried when I wrote this last night. But yeah the next chapter will be here soon and i dont have to start school till after labor day weekend so, I can put up as much as i can. If you have time, u know the drill, review! Thankies! 

-bree-


	3. Silent blackened skies

00 ok i feel over when i saw all the reviews pour in!!! OMG!!! u ppl are awesome! I never thought that this story would be so popular and I did take time to read all reviews and even to change some suggestions by following up with them

I realize now that I spelled Dr. Cullen's first name wrong. I always spell it wrong and when I wrote the chapter it was 2 in the morning and I didn't have any references to spell his name. So for that sorry about the spelling mistakes. I don't quite have spell check yet on my computer programs, but hopefully I will soon. Again sorry but if something like that is wrong. Please Please let me know so I can go back and fix it

Thanks! Now enough of me talking and taking up precious reading time. TIme to start the chapter!

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EPOV

_Edward Anthony Masen! a woman yelled, looking down into a little boy's eyes. His hands were covered in black goop that dripped onto his fine clothing. The woman looked back down at him again, but didn't yell. The boy looked back up at her, his eyes filled with innocence as he smiled guilty. _

_The fury on the woman's face softened as she laughed, ruffling the boy's hair. "Now, Edward, daddy will not be happy seeing you act like this. You know that right?" she asked calmly, using a washcloth from the sink to wipe off his face._

_The boy looked down at the floor. "Sorry mommy." he said, tears falling down his cheeks. "Are you going to tell daddy, I was bad?" he asked, looking back up at his mother. _

_She smiled gently at him, wiping away his tears with her finger. "No sweetie, I will not tell daddy, but only if you promise not to do it again. " _

_"I promise." he mumbled. "Now Edward, let's go get you cleaned up. Tonight some of daddy's business friends are coming here for dinner, and we don't want them to see you covered in food, do you?" she asked, taking his sticky hand and leading him down the hallway. _

_"No mommy." He replied smiling. "Good, after we get you cleaned up, and you promise not to make a mess, I will let you lick the spoon after I am done mixing the cake batter." she said ruffling the boy's hair. _

_"Yay!" he yelled, a smile glowing on his face. The woman laughed and kissed his forehead as they walked into the darkness. "I love you Edward." _

_"I love you to mommy." _

The images faded, leaving a hole of darkness, with no light. Complete and utter silence filled the empty abyss. I was trying to find my way out. What was going on? Did I suddenly just die, and I mean really die? Is this what I had been looking foward to after my existence?

No it couldn't be. What about my family? What about Bella? I wasn't dead. I had to think about them, about her. She was the reason for my existence, the light in my darkened sky, but why is everything so black.?

"Let me out of here!" I scream, but my voice is cascaded by a rebound of echos that seem like an eternity away. I can't move. What is happening to me? That memory was it real, or was it a dream?

No it couldn't have been a dream. I am immortal, and I can not dream, but it felt so dream like and at the same time...so real. Like I have experienced it before in some distant time. The woman..she was my mother..her voice I remember it now. That memory was no dream. I could smell the fragrance of the room hit me like a ton of bricks, and the melody of her voice, it hit me harder than that. But I had done nothing? Why? Why couldn't I move to see if what I was feeling was real?

No..no..I could worry about that later. I have to focus on getting out of here. Where ever here is. Ok...concentrate..edward..it's not that hard, espically since you have no voices in your head interrupting your thoughts. Think of her voice. Think of her smell, anything that can trigger a way out. I just want to go back. Come on think...think...

Finally..something, but what is it?

Wait..why do I hear crying?

"Edward...please be ok." the voice choked.

Oh, it's Bella. She shouldn't be crying. I can hear her, but I can't see her, to tell her everything is alright. I am fine, I am more than fine. Am I not?

"Please wake up?" the voice begged again. Still I couldn't see a way out. If this was god's punishment for me taking all those lives, I could deal with it. But why did he have to bring her into it with me.

Wait..I see a light. Finally! A way out. I'll take it anything.

"Huh! Oh, Edward, can you hear me. Just open your eyes." her voice pleaded. "Carlisie..I think he is waking up!"

My eyes snapped open to a bright room. I closed my eyes a second adjusting to the brightness. "Sorry Edward." Carlisie said, dimming the lights. My hand uncovered from my eyes to see Bella inches away from my face.

Her eyes were bright red, and she had tear streaks running down her cheeks. "Hey" I whispered, brushing her cheek swiftly with my hand.

Her eyes widened as she grabbed my hand and pressed it against her face. She looked like she wanted to speak, but kept her mouth shut. I wished I knew what she were thinking.

"How are you feeling Edward?" Carlisie asked, peering over the other side of what ever I was laying on. I shook my head a little, wincing at the movement as a shot of pain rippled through my skull

"Fine." I said, for Bella's sake. I heard him sigh before leaving the room to inform the others that I was alright.

I looked back at Bella who was sitting back in her spot, on the chair next to me. Her hand was gripping mine so tigtly that if I were still human, she surely would have broken it.

"Are you really alright?" she asked after a moment of awkward silence. I looked up at the cieling, knowing that I couldn't lie to her.

"I...don't know Bella. I mean...I feel fine, but..I just don't know what is going on..." I confessed, closing my eyes, not wanting to see her expression.

I felt her hand brush my cheek, and stay there until I opened my eyes. "We will figure something out alright?" I added, looking back over at her. I could see she was trying her hardest to hold back the tears. She nodded, standing up and laying down next to me, her head laying on my chest. I wrapped my arms tightly around her, never wanting to let go.

"You talked a lot while..u were...unconsious.." she whispered. I chuckled softly. "Hear anything interesting?"

She nodded a little before pushing away from my arms and sitting up to look into my eyes. "You were saying I promise a lot. And...you were saying...mommy." she smiled a little but it feel from her face as my expression saddened.

"I think it was a memory, but it felt more like a dream. A dream that I couldn't move, couldn't make a sound to see if it were real. It was like someone stuck a movie projector in front of my eyes, and played a film, a home made movie." I said sighing.

BPOV

I listened intentally as Edward spoke to me about what had happened to him. I heard him sigh, before looking away again lost in thought. I wanted to ask a lot more questions about the pain, and what he saw? But I knew now wasn't the best time, so I bit my tounge and surpressed them.

I stroked his hair, waiting until one of us broke the uneasy silence.

When none of us did, I decided to speak, becoming nervous with the sudden silence. "And..you did say my name a few times. " I smiled, hoping he would hear the happiness in my voice.

It worked as he laughed silently. "And it's a shame you will only get to experience it once. While I get to experience it many times with you." he mused looking back at me.

"So Bella, you never did answer me. Do you prefer me shiny or fuzzy?" My eyes widened, as I felt the blood rush to my cheeks. I knew I would never hear the end of it.

"That's not fair!" I shouted taking the pillow from underneath his head and bashing him gently with it. "Oh so now you want to fight do you?" he grinned, grabbing my arms when I tried to fling the pillow at him again.

He pulled me down quickly and our lips met. My heart started to beat faster, as the blood once again rushed to my cheeks. "Ok ok you win." I whispered as he pulled away.

"Great! Then I get to choose what we do today?" he asked.

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Sorry this is really short. School just started and I am already loaded with homework from my honors and AP courses. On top of that I am still continuing to write my book I hope to get published, but that dosent mean I will stop on these stories. I will try my hardest to have a chapter a week up, and if I have more time, I will put up more

I know that these first few chapters sound boring, but bear with me for a few more and I promise it will get interesting then, really interesting!

Thanks again for all you readers!

-bree-


	4. Perish

Sorry it took so long to update i have been really busy!

Thanks for all readers out there you guys are awesome! Keep up the reviews! And ill keep up the awesome chapters!

And sorry for the major cliffe at the end! I just love to do them!

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Chapter 4: Perish

I looked at Edward and sighed. I didn't like where his ' great so I get to choose what we do today' talk was going.

"Is that such a good idea. I mean after everything that has happened. Do you really think that going anywhere is a good idea?" I replied, terrified at the idea. Edward flashed his crooked smile and say up quickly taking me back in his cold arms.

"Don't worry love. What ever happened, I am sure wont happen again. Besides, if Alice saw anything like this reoccur, she would let me know. And she hasn't. So there is no worries." He whispered into my ear, before kissing my neck softly.

I shivered, not in fear, but I am sure he could hear my heart clear as day beating rapidly in my chest.

"What…do you mean don't worry. Edward something….happened….something terrible and unusual…and terrifying…happened to you. How could you not expect me to worry that it wont happen again? Maybe we should wait a little longer before we leave to go anywhere again. I mean we are here now, in your room, with your family close by if something happens. We could just…"

He chuckled at my words died down. "Bella, believe me. I would rather kill myself, than have you see that again, but trust me please. Nothing is going to happen." I froze in shock as his words rang through my head.

"Edward Cullen." I pronounced his name slowly and careful, trying to comprehend what he said. "Don't you ever say that you would kill your self. Didn't we learn that lesson last year?" I asked , flinching at the flood of memories that entered in my mind, from that …abyss in my time. No it was like a phase in my life I wanted to forget. Kind of like the phases of the moon. When he left. It was the darkest part of my life. Like a new moon.

**((yeah I did take the title name. It belongs to Stephanie Meyer and as much as I wish to own it I never will. So the credit for the title and all characters is hers alone! It belongs to her..lol and that completes my disclaimer. And so is everything else from characters to anything related to her)**

So what then was this part of my life called. I mean it wasn't the happiest of times, but it was a hell of a lot better than last year. An impasse maybe. Maybe more like the phase of the moon like an Eclipse.

**((0nce again I don't own the title, that belongs to Meyer herself)**

No. I shook my head, ignoring the worried gaze from Edward. No, this was the part of the happiest of times in my life, just him being here. Just him being along side me, wanting me and only me. Nothing more, nothing less, that was truly the happiest thing in my life. Him, Edward Cullen. Which is why I had to figure out what happened today because knowing how fate pushes us, like two different Polaris of a magnet, something wasn't right. And when something isn't right, it usually is a call for something worse that is going to happen.

I didn't want to think of all the possibilities of what could go wrong. What could happen if we tried to ignore it like he wanted to. Something would happen, unless we figured it out, unless we did something to stop it, but in the end….it might still happen anyway. That is what worried me more than him collapsing in front of me this morning.

Something I knew that was going to happen, and something that I could try to stop, but in the end could fail and with it would come such consequences that I would be forever determined to figure out what I could have done differently, what we could have justified to engage in with and reserve that something to a thing less consequential. But I didn't….

"Bella."

I snapped out of my thought and gazed back at Edward whose face was mere inches from mine, the scent of his breath sending me further away from my thinking. I forced a smile.

"Sorry, just thinking about something." I whispered kissing him lightly. His cold lips pushed against mine. When I had to breathe he pulled away still fixated on the expression he was giving me earlier.

"Care to tell me what you were thinking?" he asked. Not having him hear my thoughts was good. Who knows how things would have turned out if he could hear only half of the things that I thought.

But I couldn't tell him what I was really thinking, so I did what I do best, even thought it is unbelieved.

"I was thinking maybe we could go to the meadow. it's a nice day and since you want to go out so bad…" I trailed off. He didn't seem to be buying it.

"You don't know how hard it is to not be able to hear what you are thinking you know that right?" He asked kissing me again quickly. "And by the way love, you are a horrible liar."

I smiled and stood up. "So wanna go?" I asked, trying to put as much enthusiasm in my voice as possible.

He spook up along side me and pulled me into his arms. "I would go anywhere as long as you are there beside me." He whispered into my ear. I felt the heat radiating off my face and my heart beat quicken. This was an annoying part about being human, not being able to control my emotions around a vampire.

I laughed lightly to myself. It isn't as bad though as when I was in the hospital two years ago, right after James attacked me. Not only could Edward hear my heart beat, but so could everyone else who entered the room. That was the most horrendous two weeks of my life, but it could have been worse if he wasn't there.

"So what brought on the sudden change in your decision?" Edward asked as we got into his Volvo. His hand found its way to mine as he started the car.

I shrugged, still hoping not to give way to anything else but the excuse I had given him. "I'm not sure. I just thought that maybe you were right. Alice would have seen anything that would happen right?"

He nodded silently as we took off down the road at speeds that I wasn't used to. An awkward silence fell over the atmosphere. I looked out the window and watched the fast moving scene before me, though I couldn't make out much. Which made my mind wonder again.

"So what do you think about the research paper we have to do for English class?" I asked, knowing how dumb it sounded. Knowing him he had it done long before the teacher has assigned it to the class, but the silence was driving me crazy. Surely there was something we could talk about besides today's events.

I waited for an answer. I got none. Then I became aware of his grip on my hand increasing. I looked down at our hands as his squeezed mine. It was accuracy starting to throb.

"Edward let go of my hand please." I said looking up at him. His eyes were blank, his face showing no emotion.

The pain in my hand got worse. I tried to pull away, but the cold grasp around it proved it futile.

"Edward your hurting me! Let go!" I yelled as my fingers squished together and I tried harder to pull away. After a few seconds I finally managed to slip my hand out of his hand which was now clenching into a fist.

I rubbed my hand gently, hoping no damage was done until I jumped in my seat as a car honked their horn at us. I looked out the window, we were going slower than before, enough for me to see what was ahead. There were not many cars in the lane, but Edward ignored them all together. They swerved out of the way as we continued on the one side.

"Edward! What are you doing!?" I yelled, tightening my seat belt. He still didn't answer. My gaze snapped into his direction as his body shifted towards mine, his eyes shut. Oh no! no! No! not again! My mind was shouting.

"No! This can't be happening!" I screamed trying to grab the wheel over his form. I could barely reach it.

Time in my eyes started to slow down. It was like a movie pressed in a slow fast forward. I managed to grab the wheel steadily with both hands, and looked up. There was no longer any sound of the other cars around us and they were no where to be seen. My eyes were fixated on the car which was approaching us from the other lane, when we had crossed, I wasn't sure. There was no time to move out of the way, no time to dodge.

The low beam lights hit my eyes, barely seen on the cloudy day, but to me they were like looking into the sun. It was getting closer and closer. I didn't have time to scream. No time to utter a single sound, my whole body numb. No way to protect myself. We were going to crash. We were going to hit that other car. And there was nothing I could do to save us.

Time sped up faster now as we collided with the other vehicle. I didn't see the crash however, my eyes were already shut. I heard the sickening twisting of the metal from the front of Edward's car and the other driver's. Then came the impact of the air bags hitting my body full force the glass spraying all over the place, hitting me, cutting me, stabbing me, killing me. Then the full force of the other car hitting came as well, the sudden force vaguely reminded me of a roller coaster coming to a sudden stop, except this had a hundred times more force behind it. I heard more snapping and grinding. I could smell the blood hit my nose like someone put an incense of it right under my nose. Was this what it was like moments before death.

Maybe it was. I felt no pain at all. I felt no connection with the real world. What about Edward? Would he survive this? Of course he would, he was immortal…please I don't want to die not like this.!

Then as fast as it happened it was over. No more grinding sounds or twisting. Just silence. There was nothing else, as my mind began to shut down and I came to grips of what was happening. I was dying. And nothing was going to save me this time.

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Once again sorry for the major cliffe! Please review Thanks!!!

-bree-


	5. Tempting Fate

OK I finally found a way to repost here, but I have to say. If there are spelling errors, please do not mention them in the reviews. I am going to try my best, to fix spelling, but the way I discovered, spelling mistakes, might slip through.

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I heard it faintly. I heard it all, including the sound of her heart beat. The speed, the intensity. I didn't't know what was going on. All I knew was she had reached over me. I wold have tried to mo e, but not an inch of me would move. Then I heard that horrific sound. I can't hear the sound of her hear beat anymore. The numb feeling getting stronger, to the point it was beginning to hurt. I could feel the pressure on top of me though. It felt like a heavy load had just been carelessly dumped and left on me. Still I forcefully wanted to know what was going on and why I could't move. 

That was when the smell hit me. The one smell that I couldn't't't resist enough as it was, even if it was hers. Blood. Bu not only blood, that sweet smelling blood, the one that smelled like fresco. Bella's blood. Lots of it. There was a lot of her blood, seeping into my cloths, hitting my nose, oozing down my arms. I could feel those, why I was unsure of.

And I couldn't't't do a thing to help her! Hurry! Oh my god, did she survive?!" I heard someone yell. It must have been either the other driver or someone else. No one I could make out.

"Sweet mother of God! Hurry someone help me pull them out! There is another person in here!" Another voice yelled.

"No! No! It's Bella. Yes! Yes, her dad is the police chief. And...Edward Cullen!" I recognized that voice. It was Angela Weber's.

Silence...

My eyes opened slightly and glanced around the white room. Where was I? What happened? The smell of antiseptic hit my nose, and I immediately recognized where I was.

_I hope he wakes up soon,"_ A voice suddenly broke through my thoughts.

I looked over to the other side of the room, to see Carlisle and Esme walk in through the door. Esme looked as though she would cry if she could, but she was still a mess. Her hair was displaced and her face was weary. I never saw her like that. Except, after she came to terms with that her first child had died. Oh, no. My mind was hurtling hundreds of ideas, all pointing to one true fact. Something was wrong. Terribly wrong.

"Edward what happened?" Carlisle asked after an awkward moment of silence. I looked up at him then shook my head trying to remember what happened. I couldn't't't remember anything really except being in the car with Bella. We were talking about something..something I couldn't't't figure what it was about. It must have been something non important. Then the next moment..I couldn't't control my body anymore. The images flashed in my mind. My hands gripped the steering wheel tightly, and then relaxed, slipping easily off. Bella was screaming, but it sounded distant even thought I knew she was sitting right next to me. Darkness and then the voices. Screaming about an accident. There must have been an accident...

My eyes widened. If we were in some kind of accident that meant Bella was in it to!

Where is Bella?" I asked not bothering to hold the anxiousness in my voice. She had to be alright. She just had to be. Maybe she walked away not really hurt. A few scratches or bruises.

None of them answered.

_"I'm not sure this is the best time to tell him, Maybe we should wait."_ Esme's voice deliberated inside her head, but she decided against it._ "He has a right to know."_

Finally Esme stepped forward as I Sat up, and hugged me tightly. My body was unconsciously shaking. What was wrong? Was it really that bad? Dead God, if something happened to her it would be all my fault. She even argued with me about going out. I should have listened. I should have listened to her.

"How bad is it?" I whispered looking into her eyes. Her eyes adverted from mine. That wasn't't good.

"Edward. I'm sorry. I really am. Alice saw the accident happen, but it was too late to do anything about it." I knew there was an accident. That was the only explanation.

I knew she was trying to prolong answering my simple question. "Esme...please..tell me...is Bella, going to be alright?"

This time her eyes met with mine. Pain, sadness, grief flooded them. She shook her head sadly, before looking over at Carlisle, trying to seek help in answering.

"Edward." He started. "Bella...

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YAY I FINALLY AM ABLE TO UPDATE!!!! I know that the chapter is short, but please bear with me, the way that I found at least until I get used to it, is very time consuming, but due to this, I will be able to update more often. Just with shorter chapters, but they will not be shorter than this.

Thanks you to all my patient readers here! U all are great. Thanks for the support and everything, but once again, sorry about the cliffy. I got to have something to make sure u have something to look foward to the next time. Well until then! Please rewiew if u can Thanks!!

-bree-


	6. Silent declarations

Sorry for the wait, I have been really busy. But I can guarantee this chapter was worth the wait. I must warn u this is full of angst and very very sad. Please Please don't send any hate things read the bottom note after u read this chapter and u will understand sorry.

And also sorry..for the cliffe at the end. LOL

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EPOV

"Bella..."

"She's alive" Esme interrupted, walking toward me. I looked back up at my parents, waiting for the other news. I didn't't need mind reading to tell me they were keeping something from me.

"How bad is it?" I asked after an unconfrontable amount of silence.

Carlisle glanced back down at me unsure of how to answer. "She lost a lot of blood Edward. We are giving her transfusions as we speak, but she remains in critical condition...but.." He stopped in mid sentence. I opened my mouth to ask him why he stopped, but his thoughts interrupted my asking.

_"Her injuries are terribly serious Edward. We managed to stop the bleeding for the most part, but the damage was already done. Her condition was worse than we first anticipated and medically there is nothing more we can do. We can give her pain medicine to help manage the pain until the end, but I'm sorry there is no more we can do..unless." _He stopped again.

"Unless.."

_"Unless we step up the deadline Edward, she is going to die. We have no other choice." _

My mind blanked out for a second after that.

_"Edward did you hear me." _Carlisle's voice was more serious and demanding this time to knock my mind back into focus.

My eyes widened. "No!" The thought of losing her was far worse than the moment of condemning her soul to a life like this.

_" You have to make a choice Edward. I won't make it for you, but you have to decide soon. I'm not sure how much longer we can hold onto her before we have to put her on life support. After that, the decision of what to do will be up to Charlie." _Carlisle said.

I nodded. I couldn't't even bring myself to think of how Charlie was dealing with this. How Bella's mother,Renee was going to handle this. The thought and reality that she was going to lose her only child.

"Can I see her?" I asked, taking in their surprise. They must have been waiting for me to explode about the idea of changing her. I was confused myself. A part of me, didn't't want to, the monster that lingered deep inside of me, but I couldn't't lose her.

Esme nodded. "Of course Edward."

Esme led me down the hallway to the room where Bella was. Her hand found her way onto my shoulder, in an attempt to comfort me.

"Do you want me to stay Edward?" She whispered, low enough that no human could hear, but to me, it was as clear as day.

I shook my head. "I'd like to be alone right now Esme."

She nodded, squeezing my shoulder reassuringly again before leaving. I took a deep breath preparing myself for what I was about to see. Silently I opened the door and closed it behind me without looking at the bed. I turned around slowly, my eyes glancing at the IV tubes, the heart monitor, the other various machines hooked up to Bella. Finally my eyes set on her.

She was worse than I had imagined. Her head was tightly wrapped with a bandage, a light tinkle of blood already forming on the front. Her hands were covered in bandages as well. As I walked closer, I could see her face clearer. She was pale, paler than me. A deadly pale. The thought sent shivers up my spine.

Silently I sat down in the chair next to the bed, and took hold of her hand gently but firmly. Carlisle's suggestion rang through my head.

But could I really do that to her? Could I really condemn her to a monstrous life like mine. To take away her pure soul for my own selfish reasons. But is it what she wanted. She made it quite clear to me and the rest of my family that she has the intention of becoming one of us.

But is that what she truly wanted? That it wasn't't something that might have been a faze? What if during a course of time she was deciding against it, and I took away her only chance to be happy? But ...what if she did consider it and truly want it and I turn around and I...

No, I couldn't't do that to her. I couldn't't bring myself to do it.

"God Bella. I don't know what to do." I whispered, laying my forehead on the side of the bed.

"Please God. Please...I know I already know my soul was condemned, but not hers. Hers was never condemned. Its too pure. Please don't let her die." I prayed to what ever higher being was out there, that they might spare me this one request.

Slowly the minutes ticked by, and faded into hours. By then Charlie had been in and out of the room, either in tears or anger. I knew a part of him blamed me for this, according to his mind, but his anger was over ruled with the thought of losing his daughter.

Eventually all visiting hours had ended and Charlie, was forced to go home, hoping not to make the decision to end his daughter's life. I cringed at the thought again. Could I really bring myself to do that to her?

I stayed with Bella, the whole night, despite pleas from nurses to leave, as well as my own family, saying I should do something for a little to take my mind off the situation. But I couldn't't.

If I would have listened to her in the first place. If I would have just stayed home, did something else, none of this would have happened. Her life would not be hanging in the balance.

I was ripped from my thoughts suddenly as Bella squeezed my hand ever so slightly. My head jerked up to look at her. Her face was contorted in pain momentarily, before relaxing, thanks to the pain medicine. "Bella..Bella love can you hear me?" I whispered, kissing her bandaged hand ever so slightly.

"Ed...ward.." she croaked. Her eyes opened slightly looking around the dimmed room. Thats when I heard her heart monitor go ballistic. I quickly stood up, standing over her. "Bella, honey. I'm here. I'm right here." I said, placing my hand on her cheek.

Her eyes drifted toward mine, and the heart monitor slowly went back to its' normal place. I sighed in relief before taking my spot next to her again. "Your going to be alright Bella." I said, rubbing my thumb gently over the back of her hand.

She was silent for a minute and I thought she might have fallen back into sleep, but her soft voice broke the silence.

"Y-Your a b-bad liar, y-you know that r-right." She whispered, forcing a small laugh. "T-tell me the t-truth."

How could I tell it to her she was going to die unless I changed her. I wanted so much to just be able to tell her that she was going to be alright, knowing that she would.

So I told her, expecting her to go crazy when I told her of what Carlisle said, but she didn't't.

"Guess you have n-no e-excuse to change m-me now." She drew in a few deep breaths. I couldn't't stand to see her like this.

"I can't do that to you Bella. I can't condemn you to a life like mine. I don't want to turn you into a monster like me." I replied, hearing the monitor speed up again.

"Bella, calm down." I said standing up again, but this time she didn't't stop. I could see the pain in her eyes, her long drawn breaths now becoming quick gasps.

"P-please...p-please.." She asked, tears running down her cheeks. I nodded quickly, not sure to what I was agreeing to right at that moment.

"Alright. I will." I whispered. Her eyes drifted shut again. "Bella?"

The monitor started to slow down. No! No! Not now!

"Bella, please don't give up yet. Fight. Fight please, for your parents. For me. Please."

---- ------ ------- The monitor went flat. No! "No! Bella please! Wake up Bella!" I screamed. I didn't't hear the sound of doctors and nurses run into the room. I didn't't feel Esme pull me away from Bella. I didn't't remember anything, except me getting further and further away from her. "No! Let me go! Let me go!" I fought against Esme's strong grip, but she held even tighter and pulled me out of the room as a crash cart was brought in.

All noises around me fell silent. The beeping, the yelling, the questions, nothing made sense. Silence. Complete and utter silence.

"

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OK before everyone gets ready to scream and hate me. I have reasoning for all this and I know the cliffe is a killer. What can I say? I am great at the, I can't give you any hints about what will happen, but I promise in the future there will still be Edward and Bella. You just have to wait and see. 


	7. One Last Time

**Wheeee 2 in a week i am getting better! And oh, i am feeling generous today! U will see why durning this chapter!**

**Sorry for the shortness!**

**Oh and! the words in bold! Is Dr. Cullen and another doctor.**

Regular text is Edwards thinking and the first sentence is what is happening after Another shock shot through, the line remained flat is Edwards POV except for the **BOLD**

Hope there isnt to much confusion.

**

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"Clear!"** Another electric shock shot through, the line remained flat

I looked back at the clock and then to the door and the sixth time this minute. God what was happening.

**Charge to 360! Come on Bella! Clear!"**

Come on Bella, you can make it. I heard the line go flat again. Please, no she has to make it through this. Please, please. Silently I stood up again and made my way towards her room, but Esme's arms pulled me back. I glanced at her, and saw her eyes, swelled in sadness. The same as mine.

**"Charge again! 360!"** No one responded.

My attention shot back from Esme's eyes to Bella's room. The line was flat and silence isolated around them. I could hear it in their minds. They were all giving up. Many was surprised she had even made it this far and let alone survived the crash. Others were worried about how Carlisle was going to deal with this, since he personally knew Bella. They were all worried about how to tell me. How to tell Charlie. They were giving up again and the other doctor in the room, was already considering calling a time of death. No please! One more time! Just give her one more time I know that she will respond. She is strong! She is strong! Please Carlisle one more time!

**"Dr. Cullen it's over. She isn't coming back."**

**"Time of death..."**

Please Carlisle one more time! Just once more! I know she will make it this time! Just please please, one more! Shock her one more! I pleaded desperatly in my mind, knowing that he could hear every word I had to say.

**"Charge to 360! One more time!"**

**"But..."**

One more...

**"No butt's! Charge to 360" Charging, the line still flat.**

**"Clear" **

Silence

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Well I was planning on stopping here, but seeing as I have sooo many reviews and every one seems like they are about to have a heart attack. I am not going to stop here. I will continue and maybe if we are lucky, it won't end on a cliff hanger, but that also means! Review!

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Silence...I closed my eyes praying to what ever God there was to bring her back. All she needed was that one last time. Please. I promise. I promise if she comes back, I'll keep my promise to her. I will. I won't let her go through that again. Come on Bella, you can do it. I know you can. 

**"We got a rhythem!"**

That's right Bella. I opened my eyes, sighing deeply in relief. I heard again the sound of what had become the sound of my universe. The thing I could pick out of a million people anywhere. The sound that made not only her life, but mine as well, whole.

**Beep...Beep...Beep...Beep...**

**"God must love this child. Dr. Cullen, good job."**

I waited anxiously, hoping to see her again. I knew Charlisle was thinking the same thing as I was right now. She was alive for now, but next time we may not be as lucky. But she was here now. I silently thanked God for giving her back to me. I know I didn't deserve that much, but maybe there is hope for me in the afterlife when that comes because he gave back to me the reason for my existence...

**Beep...Beep...Beep...Beep...**

**"Don't thank me. She isn't out of the woods yet."**

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Now since I didn't leave off of a cliff hanger this time, I don't expect many to people to be having heart attacks...LOL I was soo close to coming to an end at that other point, but I was feeling generous today. I just hope that this not ending on a cliff hanger causes me to lose readers! Please make sure u all come back for the next chapter, thats when the real fun starts! 

If you have time please review!

Thanks!

-bree-


	8. I Promise

Ok hi everyone! Yeah I know I have some explaining to do huh? Well truth be told I have had a writer's block for awhile, but you will be happy to know that I am now over it and will try to update as much as I can with school work calming down and work schedule not so bad. I am back people yay!

And yes...-sigh- there is another cliffy! I know we all hate them, but I am sorry I have to make sure I didnt lose any of u awesome people while i had my writer's block.

Ok now enough of my talking! Onto the chapter!!!

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I sat by Bella's bedside after all the doctors had retreated out of the room, including Carlisle. The soft beeps coming from the heart monitor was the only thing keeping me from breaking something. It was like a soft melody, playing on a darkened moment. Not that this wasn't a darkened moment, this was something much more than that. This was my existence, my reason for living we were talking about here.

I grabbed her hand carefully and kissed it. "I am going to save you." I whispered.

I don't know how long I was in the room, staring at her pale face, wishing it was me in this position and not her. She didn't deserve this.

A while later I was snapped from my thoughts as Carlisle came into the room, Charlie following right behind him. Charlie took one look at me before running over to Bella, forcing me out of the way.

"Oh God no Bella. Bella honey can you hear me. It's dad." He said, patting her hand. I guess Carlisle still didn't tell him much. When Bella didn't respond Charlie put his head in his hands. I looked away ashamed. We both stood behind Charlie until he looked up. He didn't bother to look at any of us, so instead as he spoke, he was gazing at his daughter.

"How bad is it?" He whispered. Carlisle moved forward and rested his hand gently on Charlie's shoulder.

"It's hard to say Mr. Swan. She was brought in with a lot of internal injuries. We were able to stop all the bleeding, but we can't be certain the extent of the damage until she wakes up. If she wakes up. I'm sorry I can't offer anymore."

Charlie nodded, looking over at me. "I heard you were in the car to. What happened?" He asked calmly. I shook my head, knowing that I couldn't tell him the truth. "I don't really remember sir. I hit my head pretty hard, I don't remember anything except talking to Bella this morning. After that…" I shook my head, trying to sound as convincing as I could that I didn't know what had happened. Charlie saw my faked statement as fact. He nodded solemly. "I'm glad…your alright." He whispered looking back at Bella.

"What about the other people in the other car..What happened to them Doctor Cullen." Charlie's eyes never adverted from Bella, as I gazed at my father, beginning to wonder the same thing.

I heard him sigh. "There was a young man. Ben. I'm afraid he didn't make it. The others who were riding in the car with him, Jessica, Mike, and Angela are pretty shaken up, but appear to only have minor injuries." Carlisle answered, looking at me sadly.

I looked away, knowing that I was responsible for the death of one of my classmates and a good friend of Bella's. Would she ever forgive me? My eyes closed tightly. I was responsible for this whole thing. Everything was my fault and there was nothing I could do to change it. Someone was dead and Bella, lie on her death bed, all because of my mistake. Could she really ever forgive me? I wouldn't blame her if she didn't. I mean it wasn't her fault she was here. It's just not……

"Bella honey. Can you hear me. That's right, come on open your eyes." Charlie said. My eyes snapped open as I rushed over next to Charlie. Her eyes lids were fluttering slowly, as if she were trying to force them open.

Suddenly Carlisle was standing behind us frantically looking between me and Bella. That is when I heard it. The beeping sound that was coming from the monitor on the other side of the bed. The beeping sound, the sound that let us know she was alive was slowly fading again. No! No! God, not again. I looked desperately into my father's eyes asking, pleading if he could do something. He shook his head quickly.

"_There is one way Edward and you know what that is. Time is up. You have to decide now. I'm afraid there is nothing more I can do. This is the last chance we are going to get. You have to change her. Now." _He thought, staring intently at me.

My eyes widened. Could I really do that to her? Yes. Yes I could do it. I promised her I would. I gave her my word I wouldn't let her die and I would change her. I owe her that much. Obsiouly some higher power out there might have agreed with me because they gave her back to us. They didn't take her away like she should have been. I nodded. Carlisle put his hand on Charlie's shoulders.

"Please come with me Mr. Swan." he said. Charlie nodded and stood up, kissing Bella softly on the forehead. I looked away knowing that he hadent noticed the decrease in her heart beat from the monitor. He had no idea that this was the last time he would ever see his daughter. This is the last time anyone would ever see her, human again. But I promised.

As Charlie and Carlisle exited the room, Carlisle looked back at me.

"_I'll lock the door and take care of the rest." _he thought closing the door behind him.

I went over next to Bella and stared at her form again. I grabbed her hand and squeezed it gently. "I'm so sorry Bella. Please forgive me." I whispered and bent forward, and pressed my lips to her neck, hearing her slow heart beat. It was now or never. Don't worry Bella. This time I promise I am going to save you. I quickly let my teeth penetrate her flesh and the sweet blood flowed into my mouth.

I promise………………….

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Well here it is! Stay tuned for another chapter really soon within the next week! I promise and of course!

If you have time please review!!!!

Bree


	9. I wish I had more time

Ok I am soo sorry for the time delay on this, school has been killer but as I had promised another chapter was created. I orginally wasnt planning on updating for another two weeks after school let out, but this came to mind here and I had to write it. I promise that the wait u all had to have, is paid off. I acculary feel proud of this chapter and I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Also at the end, the italics is edward speaking the other parts are Bella speaking, except for the last thing in italics which is both of them speaking.

Now onward with the story, oh and did I mention u guys are the best!!

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**BPOV**

I didn't have time to stop it, but it was like a movie projector was shoved in front of my eye and time was slowed down, like in the movies. Edward frozen, the car swerving into the other lane. The double white lines of the road closed in around us as we crossed paths with the approaching cars. My gaze slowly moved from Edward's to the green truck that was barreling towards us. I could see the horror stricken faces of the passengers and driver, but my mind was unable to make a clear image of who they were. They were just darkened figures, their faces stricken with a kind of horror that could only truly come in the moment you know that you might die. I couldn't tell if I looked the same way or worse, but I didn't have time to find out as slowly the front ends of the car met.

I could hear the scraping and grinding of the metal hitting one another, as pieces from both cars flew in the air, glass shattering like a hurricane wind around us. I felt for a brief second the pain of the glass gliding delicately and quickly against my skin, the smell of blood, I wasn't sure if it were mine or the others, hit my nose. Then briefly, as fast as it came, the pain dulled, my mind on over drive as Edward's car swerved to a hard right, back into the lane we were in, hitting the guard rail, and crashing into its side.

This time the glass and metal other pieces of the car hitting me, didn't cause any pain. I was completely numbed, but almost in a semi conscious reasoning completely aware of what was going on. I faintly looked down, ignoring the dull ache in my neck and back to stare at the metal piece, part of the guard rail that had broken off in impact, come through the car door, on my side, and now was protruding directly in the middle of my abdomen.

There was so much red, so much shiny glass coated, soaked with my blood. It hadn't even occurred to me this whole time, that I was going to die, that there was no way I was going to live through this. No way…not going to happen.. My mind began to get fuzzy, little black dots popping around the outside of my vision. Oh god, it was happening. My mind ached, wondering if the others in the other car were alright, even alive. Charlie and my mom. I wondered what they were going to do after the found out that their only child was dead. That I was never going to come back.

Or the Cullen's, or Jacob…my class mates. My mind hazily swirled around these questions and images, like a movie of my life was playing before my eyes, until they came on Edward. I knew he was going to be alright…maybe…hopefully, but I wondered what he was going to do, how he was going to respond to my death. Even now as I was dying, I found it ironic how much I was worrying about others, rather than myself, but even as much as that were true, I am selfish. I have always been selfish thinking I could accuracy do that things that I have and be able to live with it.

But my selfish part, screamed somewhere in the back of my mind, growing louder with each second, begging and pleading like a child wanting attention. It wanted, I wanted more time. Why did it have to be so hard to love? Did God really not want Edward and I together and found that the only way for that to happen was to grasp me by the hand and drag me out of existence. Why couldn't I just have a little more time to tell everyone how much I loved them. To tell Charlie how wonderful he had been to me, how great of a father he was, despite what he may or may not think. To tell my mom to be brave and that I was so proud to be able to call her mom and have a mother like her. To tell both my parents not to worry to much, that they did alright, that I turned out alright and let them know how much they mean to me, how much I loved them. I want to tell Phil how happy I am to one day hopefully call him my step father and how happy I am that he is there to make my mother happy, like she deserves.

I want to be able to tell Jacob that he was the greatest friend I could ever hope for and that I hope he one day finds someone as special as he was. I wanted to tell the Cullen's how much they mean to me. How much I loved every last one of them, to be able to thank them for welcoming me to their family and giving me the chance to meet Edward. I just wanted more than anything else in the world was just the chance to tell Edward how much he has impacted my life and that every moment with him was heaven, and there was nothing I would change. Every minute, second that he was near me, holding me, singing to me, kissing me, that his love for me was the greatest thing to ever come into my life. I want to tell him how much I loved him and be able to say yes, yes that I wanted to be his wife and be with him forever. Yes to life, yes to our love, yes to an us. God I just wished I had the time to do all that, any part of it.

My mind was darkening, the fading images of my life dimming, as the light got farther and farther away. I just wished I had the time.

Edward…. I just wish..

_"I promise."_ I heard a faint whisper say, echoing through the darkness. Edward……..I just wish I had more time.

_"I promise I'm going to save you this time, just please hang on. I promise."_

I wish I could hang on Edward. I tried, really I tried my best, but it isn't your fault, please don't think it is. Nothing was ever your fault. I love you Edward, I have and always will love you.

_"Your going to be fine Bella. It's all going to be alright now. You'll see. Just wait."_

What do you mean Edward? How can it all be alright, it will never be alright. I know your going to hurt, and I'm sorry, I really truly deeply am, but you have to let me go Edward, you have to let go and move on. I promise I'm not mad. I promise I will never be, I love you to much, but please I beg, let me go.

_"Just hold on Bella. Your going to pull through, I wasn't to late this time, just please don't stop fighting. Please just a little longer Bella."_

Oh, Edward. I know, I know, I wish, I really wish I could still hang on, but I don't know if I can. But I will try, if that is what you want, I promise I will try to hold on as long as I can. I will fight for you. I will hang on for you. Our love, will help me, I just hope I can keep that promise to you.

_"I promise."_ I know we say at the same time. Just a little more time.

* * *

Sorry for the cliffy I really am, but I had to do it. Dont kill me -runs away- Hope you all liked it

If you have time feel free to review, even if it is to yell at me for the delay. HAHA

Bree


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